Assault With A Deadly Pussy

Kenley Collins, the screechy tugboat captain’s daughter from Project Runway 5, was arrested in Brooklyn yesterday morning after she went fucking insane on her fiance and woke him up by throwing a cat at him! Only this looneytard….

The New York Post says that Zac Penley woke up to a pussy in his face and it wasn’t the one he was having a wet dream over (Heidi Klum). The pussy was just the grand opening. Kenley also threw her laptop, three apples (FRUIT ABUSE) and water at him. Zac crawled to a phone and called 911. After the attack, Kenley reportedly told him, “You’re lucky, it could have been worse.”

TMZ says Kenley was charged with a bunch of shit including “2nd degree assault, 3rd degree assault and criminal possession of a weapon in the 4th degree.”

After she was released without bail, Kenley told The Post, “It was a miscommunication. Fights happen, And that’s that. There is no case.” Yeah, tell that to the poor pussy who was thrown across the room. I really hope that before that pussy quit that bitch, it pissed and went caca in all of Kenley’s stupid hats.

You know, Kenley probably realized that if she married Zac she would become KENLEY PENLEY. That’s what drove her over the edge.

Kenley Penley the pussy thrower is like the worst person ever.