Wha?!!! American Idol Is Fixed?!

March 17, 2009 / Posted by:

Some bitch with a slippery tongue who works on American Idol is reportedly jumping around telling everyone and anyone the final 4 on the show have already been picked, picked and picked. The loud mouth says that Jane Mancini, Glittery McWentz, Lil’ Rounds and Danny “Makes Me Wanna Pokey My Own Eyes” Gokey will be the chosen four. When asked if this was just speculation, the crazy bird said, “Those ARE the people.” Damn. Okay, okay…

She went on to tell the NYDN that the producers really want Gokey or Alexis Grace to win, because they “think they’re very commercially viable, have a good image and a great story.”

Fox refused to say shit about this mess.

So who’s the babbling bitch? My guess is that Paula Abdul found the key to the medicine cabinet again, right? Give the crazy a barbiturate and she’ll blather on until you shut her up with a Vicodin lolly.

Asking the question “Is Idol fixed?” is like asking the question “Does Simon lick his own furry nipples when he’s alone in bed at night?” MAYBE (but probably yes)! Actually, I don’t know. Does it matter at this point? We’ve already wasted ten million hours of our young lives, so we might as well keep on suffering. As long as the contestants keep sucking shit nuggets so that we can make fun of them each week, I’ll be happy.

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