Little Lady, Big Man Engaged

March 17, 2009 / Posted by:

The walking lollipop known as Christina Ricci is engaged to that giant beast of a man so says UsWeekly. Christina has been dating director Owen Benjamin for a few months. How many times do you think a waitress has asked him, “And what would your daughter like?” If he put her in a stroller and pushed her down the street, there wouldn’t be a side-eye in sight!

Christina is 5’1″ and he’s fucking 6’6″! His ass can really pick her up and lick her ass like a real lolly! If he wants to hit it from the back, Christina has to get on all fours on a platform or some shit. They probably have swing sets, slings and ladders in their bedroom. Freaky ass bitches!

That wedding is going to be some good shit. Christina is going to have to stand on a stack of phonebooks and Owen will need megaphone so she can hear him when he says his vows. But I’m mad at her that during their first dance, she’ll be able to give his peen a little tongue bath without any bitches noticing. That’s a special thing!

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