So That’s How She Traps Them

March 16, 2009 / Posted by:

Mary-Kate Olsen rolled out from under the bridge and didn’t even bother combing out the squirrel’s nest on her hair. She must have misplaced her comb made out of children’s nails and ferret bones. But I think this evil troll does it on purpose. You see, her hair may look like the inside of a used vacuum bag to us, but to little furry creatures it looks like a comfy place to live. And that’s how she gets them!

The innocent furries of the forest think they have found utopia when they lay their tired bones on her head, but what they’ve found is their death place! Bitch clubs them over the head and cackles with glee because she has a new mitten, coat, g-string or nipple cover. Pure evil.

Here’s the troll saying “pruuuuuuune” at The Metropolitan Opera’s 125th Anniversary Gala thing in NYC last night. The nest on her head is also how she trapped her date. That boy child looks like he was raised in the trees and eats mostly bird seed with that itty bitty mouth of his.

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