Robert Pattinson Can’t Get Laid In NYC

March 16, 2009 / Posted by:

Gatecrasher says that while getting boozy at the Rose Bar in NYC, the Unicorn Prince of the Magical Forest was heard telling a friend, “I can’t get laid in NYC.” His friend shot back, “A blind person with a British accent could get tail.”

I don’t know what NYC Robert is talking about, but this place is home to some of the greatest sluts the universe has ever seen. I mean, my no-no doesn’t drop glitter bombs over Robert, but I’d jump on that shit so fast just so I could run up to some random tween and shout, “I fucked your fake sparkly boyfriend and he loooooved it.”

But seriously, I’m thinking Robert got laid and he didn’t even know it. He probably had himself a damn orgy while walking from the car to the bar. Those crazy fangirls and TwiMoms are slick. They are experts at drive-by-fucking.

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