It’s not even noon and the cunt word is already blasting in my head. It’s going to be the best day ever. And I have to thank Heather Mills for that, because the cuntiest cunt who ever cunted is back to cunting some more!
The Daily Mail says that Heather has bought a sea kitten (fish to those who aren’t fluent in crazy Peta talk) restaurant near her kingdom of evil in East Sussex, England. When Peggy Leggy gets done with it, she’ll be the only dead fish in the joint since she plans to only serve grass and wet cardboard (aka vegan food). Heather also fired the entire staff. You know that made her stump pucker. Bitch probably turned of all the lights, put a flashlight to her face and declared, “You’re all fireeeeeeed” and then laughed haughtily. She was planning to disappear all dramatic-like in a cloud of dry-ice, but her fake leg rotated a bit, so she had to hop away which killed her big exit.
Not only did the staff get fucked, but so did the owner. That’s what he thinks anyway. Nick Short, the former owner, said Heather has been to the restaurant at least 20 times. She even came with Paul McCartney before he hated her. Heather told Nick to call her if he was ever interested in selling it. When he decided it was time, he rang her up and said he was trying to unload the popular joint for £255,000. Heather agreed. But true to her cunty nature, Heather changed the agreement a few months later. The new price Heather wanted to pay was £140,000. Heather blamed THE ECONOMY.
Nick told the Daily Mail, “I’d put off other buyers who were offering the full price thinking I had a deal with Heather. There was nowhere else I could go.” Nick also doesn’t think a vegan restaurant is going to swim very far in that neighborhood. Don’t tell that to Heather, because if that joint is a success, she plans to open more worldwide.
It sounds to me like that Heather’s restaurant doesn’t have a leg to stand on. I give it two hot seconds. I give it one hot second before the locals unofficially name it Cunty McCunts with the help of a can of spray paint.