JLove Works Fast

March 13, 2009 / Posted by:

Just like that, JLove has a new coochie warmer! Jamie Kennedy told Ryan Gaycrest on his KISS-FM radio show this morning that JLove is clapping those ass cheeks for him and he gets all slobbery wet for it. This comes just a few short months after JLove quit the love she had with Ross McCall. How soon the snatch turns.

This just isn’t any ordinary love. This is thee love. A Twilight kind of love. Seriously, this is the kind of cheesy vomit that came spewing out of Jamie’s mouth this morning, “I thought it was something I would find in my 40s. It’s like, ‘Wow, you are hot. You can sing, you can dance, you’re, like, so smart and, wow, you can cook pasta fagioli too.’ We have an intense connection. She’s my Bella. I don’t want to bite her neck, but I want her to live. I’m in love, and I don’t care!

That’s not love, bitch is straight-up assmatized. Jamie needs to focus less on that love shit and try to find the cure to the disease that’s slowly turning him into fucking Brendan Fraser!

Furthermore, JLove is a lost cause. You can do nothing but roll your eyes and hit the “next” button. Bitch ain’t complete unless she has someone to text shit like, “i luvz u so much hugz,” to every night. You know the type. The kind of bitch you only see or talk to when she’s not in barf-inducing looooove. Then when they get their hearts butchered, they call you to say how much they miss you. I always pick up the phone, because those hos make it up to you by picking up the bar tab after your “reunion.” It’s like an open bar every few months!

VIA USWeekly

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