Joaquin’s Hobo Rapper Act Strikes Again

March 12, 2009 / Posted by:

When Joaquin Phoenix gets up in the afternoon, does he pull his clean ass out of bed, walk to his backyard, roll around in dirt, throw a shit load of fleas on his beard, smear a bar of dick butter (found in any Food 4 Less) on his body and then head out the door? It’s pretty much looking like Joaquin’s whole “crazy man under the bridge” act is just that…a fucking act! The dick cheese doesn’t smell authentic!

Last night in Miami, Joaquin performed at the Fontainebleau Hotel at around 2 in the morning. During his low-budget rap act, some douchebag in the audience got all cunty with Joaquin. This was Joaquin’s cue to say, “We have a fucking bitch in the audience” The dude in the audience kept on, so Joaquin really burned him, “I’ve got $1 million in the bank. What have you got bitch?”A few beats later, Joaquin dropped his mic, bounced into the audience and Chris Browned the bitch. Security broke the fakery up and kicked Joaquin out of his own show.

Of course, Casey Affleck got the whole thing on tape for that “documentary” they are making.

Okay, I understand that Joaquin wants to join the “You So Artsy” club by doing this performance art shit, but can he drop the homeless man look? Can’t he be a hot and freshly shampooed crazy person? Joaquin looks like one of the members of ZZ Top after spending time in The Biggest Loser house. That is not the look.

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