When Jennifer Aniston got back from Europe where she was promoting that dead dog movie, John Mayer greeted her with a big fat “It’s fucking over.” Jenny has been here a trillion times before, so she shrugged her shoulders, went home, pulled out her custom-made flavor of Ben & Jerry’s “Everything But The…Babies and Husband” (specifically made for her), cuddled with her boyfriend arm pillow and watched a doctored copy of Mr. & Mrs. Smith (with her head digitally replacing Angie’s).
E!’s Marc Malkin is hearing that John Mayer dumped her ass sometime this week, because they’re contract was up or something like that. John’s final mission as Jenny’s whore was to hold her hand at the Oscars so her imaginary boyfriend could have the night off.
But one friend of Jenny’s rolled their eyes at this rumor since these two twats are known for their on-and-off fakery.
I would ask John Mayer about this on Twitter, since he has practically moved in there full-time, but he would just make some crack about Carl Mayer and I don’t want to see it.
And by the end of the day, they’ll be back together, married and she’ll be knocked up with ten litters or something.