Yup, Anne Heche Is Still Insane

March 11, 2009 / Posted by:

Here is more proof that Anne Heche’s brain is living on another planet. The planet of ABSOLUTELYFUCKINGNUTS. Over the weekend, Celestia and the dude she cheated on her husband with, James Tupper, brought a baby boy into this world. The real world. According to UsWeekly, they already hate him because the name they wrote on his birth certificate was: Atlas Heche Tupper.

Atlas has a half-brother named Homer. Atlas and Homer. Just because those names belong in books doesn’t mean it makes Anne Heche look smarter. It makes her look crazier. Poor Atlas. If you say it really fast, it sounds like assless. That’s not right.

Just for shits, I googled Atlas Heche Tupper. The first page of images had a picture of Anne’s nutso face, the sax-playing walrus, a pierced ho putting a spear through his tongue and the rest of the pictures were of dogs. That tells you everything. If you google your baby’s name and the page is mostly filled with pictures of furry animals, that means it’s a damn pet name! It’s not a baby name.

Whoever is holding Anne’s string, please let it go and allow her to float back into space.

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