What in the White Oprah dipped in diarrhea hell is this?! What is it? They tell me it’s something called a Lindsay Lohan, but damn! They tried to Photoshop the cokeface off of her, but ended up turning her into a totally different species. And this crap is supposed to make you want to buy something she’s selling! Hells no.
These two airbrushed to methland and back pictures are for HoHan’s new line of caca in a spray bottle called Sevin Nyne. The number is important to her because it’s probably the amount of times she ODed last year. Or maybe the number of genitals she licked on this month. Whatever. It means something.
When asked by People why she put out her own line of spray tan, she said, “As much as I love the sun, it is so bad for your skin. I have tried every product on the market and never found something that I loved. It was important to me to have a natural product that didn’t have a lot of dyes and chemicals. Our product has goji berry extract which has antioxidant properties, it has a natural golden color, it doesn’t streak and smells delicious — not like a typical tanning product.”
Translation: Bitch needs cash money. 8 balls and Red Bull don’t come CHEAP!
Those of you who want to look like a Port-A-Potty full of orange doody exploded all over you can buy HoHan’s crap at Sephora for $35 a bottle.