Orange County’s newest housewife sensation is OctoMommy! Tamra from The Really Plastic Housewives of Orange Skin County better give up her title as the sexiest piece, because OctoMommy is moving into the neighborhood. Barf. Wipe mouth. Barf again.
TMZ says that OctoCrazy is taking her band of babehs over to La Habra,CA this weekend where she has just bought a house listed at $564,900. The house is in her daddy’s name and a source said they paid close to asking. The 2,583 square-foot loony bin has 4 bedrooms and 3 baths. 4 bedrooms for 14 kids? Some of those babies will be sleeping in cupboards and shit.
The source went on to say that OctoCrazy was able to make the down payment using all the whore money she’s been getting from interviews. But how in c-section scar hell did they get financing with two foreclosures? My ass can’t even get a fucking Capital One card and these stupid whores were able to get financing for a half-million dollar house? The milk is straight up fucking filthy!
In addition to all this fuckery, OctoCrazy has also accepted an offer from Angels in Waiting, a non-profit joint that will help her with the babehs 24-hours a day. 14 nurses will work at the house, 4 or 5 at a time. They will pretty much do everything for all the kids. Normally a service like this would run around $135,000, but OctoCrazy is getting it all for freeeeeee. Weeeeeee!
Seriously, I need to sue a ho for the simple fact that I can’t have babies biologically. Should I sue God, because this isn’t right. I should have the option to stick embryos up my ass, so that I can give birth to ten million BABIES!!! and become an overnight pimp. Then I can spend my days watching myself on Dr. Phil and injecting lard into my lips while other people deal with the gross stuff like changing diapers. Why don’t I have that option?!
And take a good look at the pictures of OctoCrazy’s new house. So clean. In about a hot minute the walls will be covered in baby doody and it will look like a damn hurricane blew through. A hurricane of crazy.