Hmmmm…I’m Not Sure About This

March 9, 2009 / Posted by:

I haven’t seen Dakota Fanning in a movie since that Dreamer shit. Don’t you dare fucking judge. I had an awful case of the sicks, so I was high on NyQuil and feeling vulnerable. Needless to say, that horse poop made me sicker.

Because I haven’t seen Dakota do acting shit in a movie since 2005, I’m not really sure what her skills are. So when I read that she is going to play Cherie Currie in The Runaways movie, I wasn’t sure whether I should fall down and cry or co-sign it in my blood. I can already confirm that Dakota will be a million times better than ScarJo, HoHan, Taylor Momsen or any of those other hos, but that’s not saying much. And at 15, Dakota is the right age for this mess. But can her hair look like it was cut by an angel’s wing the same way Cherie’s does? That is the fucking test. They better not use wigs on this shit. If Dakota’s hair can’t look like that naturally, then don’t bother!

Variety also confirms that Kristen Stewart of that Twilight crap will play Joan Jett. And by “play,” I mean just stand there and look glazed over. Kristen always looks like she just spent 5 hours sniffing glue before coming up with the idea that eating it my give her a better high. They should’ve cast a piece of wet plywood as Joan instead. It would’ve given us more raw emotion.

Dakota and Kristen are both shooting the sequel to Twilight next and will probably make The Runaways movie after that. I feel like no matter what it’s still going to look like a really long American Apparel commercial.

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