The term “star” means absolutely fucking nothing to the producers of Dancing with the Has-Beens. This shit show needs to change their name to Dancing with the WHO THE FUCK IS THAT?! Because apparently Melissa, the ho who got her ass dumped by that troll Jason on The Bachelor, has replaced Nancy O’Dell. As you might know, Nancy had to quit that bitch because her knee pulled a Tony Harding on itself.
A source tells People that 25-year-old Melissa Rycroft started rehearsing just a few days ago. She will dance during Monday’s premiere. Yeah, and I’m sure she’ll be laid up in the hospital by Tuesday morning after the voodoo witch CHERYL BURKE gets a hold of her.
Hugh Hefner’s former concubine Holly Madison is also expected to shake her plastic titty sacks tomorrow night in place of Jewel, who also busted her knee.
If Melissa shoved the entire Orion constellation up her ass, she still wouldn’t be worthy enough to be called a star. Come the fuck on. If they were going to choose a bitch from that fake ass show, they should’ve gone with Stephanie. Fuck, even Stephanie’s gorgeous eyebrows are more deserving than Melissa.