Dear Tamra, Your Two Cents Is Required

March 7, 2009 / Posted by:

During the reunion of The Really Plastic Hos of Orange Skin County, Gretchen denied away that she was licking on her ex-boyfriend Jay before, during or after her sugar pepaw went off to the great beyond. This shit prompted Holy Tamra to give the quote of the hour: “It’s about moral character.” You can seriously use that line for anything. When a dude insists you suck his peen in a back alley way, but you want to go back to the car, just use that line and he might understand. Or when a bartender cuts you off because you barfed on the counter, you can use that line too. It doesn’t really make sense, but it didn’t when Tamra used it either.

So, when the gold digger with no morals denied she had a boyfriend, she might have been lie-telling. No surprise there. Radar got a hold of a 911 tape taken only a few days before the reunion. In the tape, Jay claims Gretchen tried to off herself by overdosing on Lunesta. Yeah, Lunesta! Who tries to quit this bitch from a Lunesta OD? I checked to see if this was some kind of viral marketing campaign and it’s not.

A few minutes into the call, Gretchen grabs the phone from Jay and says she didn’t try to commit sooey-sides (that’s what my abuelita calls it). But she does call Jay her booooooyfriend. Gretchen said the two had a fight at the bar, she came home, he followed her and tried to break in. Visit Radar to listen to the whole thing. It’s long, but I’m sure Tamra has the entire thing as her ring tone. And I hope she will hold a live press conference along with her rapey-eyed son to discuss Gretchen’s moral character.

Also on the tape, Gretchen’s phone number and home address are given out. Drive your Rabbit convertible up to the front to pick me up, because we’re going to go TP that skank’s house! Teeepeee party!

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