Zac’s Condom-Filled Christmas!

March 6, 2009 / Posted by:

When Zac Efron flips his hair, a new shade of Cover Girl concealer is born.

A little while ago, purdy Zac and Vanessa Hudgens were caught in the sexy times section of a Spencer’s. When his mommy saw the pictures, she asked him what he was doing in a sex shop. Zac tried to tell his mom it wasn’t a sex shop, but she wasn’t buy it. Zac went on to tell Elle (via UsWeekly), “She’s like, ‘I knew you were being sexual!’ But she understood. My stocking was full of condoms this Christmas. She buys me the economy box.”

Um. You don’t need condoms to play “Guess the rouge color?” with your girlfriend. If Mommy Efron really wants to make her son’s lipstick pucker, she’d stuff a double-sided dildo into his stocking this Christmas. And yes, I meant it exactly the way I wrote it.

Speaking of condoms, I hope Zac was wearing one around his no-no when he talked to his ultimate boy crush Leonardo DiCaprio. The two sat next to each other at a Lakers game last year and Zac’s seat must have been covered in tapioca at the end of the night. Zac said, “We talked the whole game, and he was just everything I thought he would be: smart, levelheaded, charming, hilarious. You know, the older-brother vibe. That sounds so cheesy.”

That right there sounds like the opening scene of almost every gay porno. How many times do you think Zac has shouted “You’re the king of my world” while Vanessa tossed his salad?

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