Tati The Terrible Has Returned

March 5, 2009 / Posted by:

It’s funny that when they announced that Tatiana Del Terrible would compete during the wild card round on American Idol tonight, I had trouble remembering who she exactly was. I forgot she existed! But when she burst into fake tears that Bachelor Jason would be proud of, it all came back to me! It’s like Gaycrest opened the chest of bad memories and out came Tati, along with the horrific memory of when I went caca in my shorty shorts in the first grade. Both Tati and that memory came skipping back into my life last night. The horror!

The last time Tati was on the show, she was so demure and acted like she had just snorted a line of No-Doze backstage. But last night she brought the faggotry back. This hag made a spectacle of herself. You just wanted to throw a bagel at her. Tati went on like she won a damn Oscar! I’m surprised she didn’t thank Loki.

Tati is pretty much in the Top 12, isn’t she? Every reality shit show needs a resident Loony McLoonester and Tati perfectly fills that position. The ratings need her. They are screaming her name the producers know this. Her presence also gives Paula a reason to double up on her “doll friends.” Paula embraces a reason to take more Vicodin.

As for the other two wild card spots, I’m going to say Bratz Doll Jasmine and Anoop will join the final whores. Also last night, Lil Rounds, Scott MacIntyre and Jorge moved on to the finals. And this just confirms that this might be the worst season of American Idol EVER. I said this last season and I’ll probably say it next season, but for right now, I mean it!

Couldn’t the producers have found a litter of fluffy, adorable kittens for us to watch 4-hours a week. Every week, we could have voted out the one with the weakest meow. Or the one whose purr is off-pitch. Or something!

That being said, I will miserably sit and watch this entire fucking season. And so will you!

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