Snooping: Michael Strahan Is Doing It Wrong

March 5, 2009 / Posted by:

Ex-New York Giants player Michael Strahan is just a big ball of jealousy. Michael should take all the jealous energy in his body, melt it down, throw it in the oven, bake it at 450 for 3 hours, take it out, paint it gleaming white and chop it down into little squares. The man would be able to fill the gap in his teeth a million times over. He has a problem.

Michael became so jealous of his ex-girlfriend Nicole Murphy, ex-wife of Eddie, that he installed two GPS tracking systems into her Range Rover. The New York Post says Michael suspected Nicole was stepping out on him, so he took matters into his own hands to track her car’s every move. Michael has a history of this shit. His ex-wife claims he tapped her phones and installed a secret video camera to watch her sister undress.

When Nicole took her Range Rover in to get serviced, they found the tracking devices. Nicole told them to remove that shit. Um. She should have taken those tracking devices and found a mountain lion to attach them to. That way Michael would go chasing that shit through the hills while she spreads her pussy all around town without worrying about him interfering with her orgasms.

The funny thing is, Nicole has been cheating on Michael with Demetrius Spencer, some music executive, for a long ass time. They even went on vacations together! Nicole told Michael she was on “business trips.” Yeah, dick business.

In fact, Demetrius was with Nicole at the mechanics when they found the devices in her Range Rover. They went on a romantic lunch while that shit got removed! After the GPS systems were taken out, Michael showed up to the garage and apparently went crazy. HA! That stupid ass.

Fuck that GPS shit. Michael would have found out the truth if he just asked to smell that snatch. Has Riskay taught him anything?

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