Come Monday, CHERYL BURKE Will Be The Only Bitch Left Standing

March 5, 2009 / Posted by:

On Monday night’s season premiere of Dancing with the Has-Beens, the camera will pan to CHERYL BURKE sitting in a bucket of soapy water, clutching that low-budget trophy while cackling like the witch she is, because she will be declared the winner by default. Mop Head’s competition is dropping left and right.

Jewel is now officially out of the game and has taken Nancy O’Dell with her. ABC confirmed this to Access Hollywood.

Jewel originally said she had tendonitis, but ABC said it’s worse. Jewel has a stress fracture in both knees and doctors told her she shouldn’t even be walking. Knee drama is also what has pushed Nancy out. During rehearsal, Nancy tore the meniscus in her knee in places. Bitch will have to get operated on, so she has no choice but to quit that bitch.

These two bitches better not ever consider a career in whoring, because they have some weak ass knees. There are some day-shift hookers who could get hit in the knees with Lil’ Kim’s concrete titays and they’d keep on ticking!

It’s pretty much confirmed that Hef’s former Metamucil mixer, Holly Madison, has joined the cast as Jewel’s replacement. ABC hasn’t confirmed or denied it. They also didn’t say whether or not Nancy will be replaced.

Dear ABC, please get Ann Coulter or Katherine HAGel to replace Nancy! That way CHERYL BURKE can work her voodoo black magic causing The Woz to mysteriously land and crush one of them during their first rehearsal. Pleeeeease!

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