a) There will never be enough exclamation points in the world to perfectly get his point across.
b) His ego will never really know how much he loves it. Truly.
c) He will never be able to see himself perform live.
d) Severe constipation.
If you answered b, give your pee hole a congratulatory pinch, because you are correct. Actually, if you answered “all of the above,” you are most likely correct, but only one of these answers is confirmed. When talking about ego the size of Chyna’s clit, Kanye said, “I do have an ego and rightfully so. I think people should have an ego. Think about it – I don’t offend people, I don’t put anyone down. Do I name names or bring people down? That’s not my thing. But I give myself big-ups. I feel good about the music I make. God chose me. He made a path for me. I am God’s vessel. But my greatest pain in life is that I will never be able to see myself perform live.”
Wait. Kanye isn’t God? Now I feel stupid going down to the Apple store every Sunday and praying to a MacBook Air. But seriously, I don’t want the voice of this generation to throw his CAPS lock key at me (okay, I do), but can’t he just Netflix one of his live concert DVDs? Or maybe glance at the monitor when he’s busy being great during one of his shows?
Actually, I’m really fucking surprised that Kanye’s all-powerful talent doesn’t cause him to have an out-of-body experience which would allow him to watch himself perform live. I blame us. We just don’t let Kanye be THAT great! Shame on us.
And one of the greatest pains in my life was the first time I read one of his CAPS-filled blog posts. I’m kind of used to it now, but my eyeballs will never be the same.
VIA Showbiz Spy