It’s not even noon and we’ve already got ourselves a grade A dumb motherfucker here. Actually, a bunch of you sent this mess to me last night, but I couldn’t let it fuck with my buzz. I filed it under “not today” and kept on buzzing, but today is now the day.
When I was at my mom’s house this past weekend, her cat (don’t say the p word) was making my fucking fingernails fall off from his annoying ass behavior. This pussy would run around like it was on speed, then stop and randomly attack my face. This pussy was asking for it, but never once did I think, “Oh, I’m going to hot box this pussy to mellow him out.” Surprisingly, the thought never did cross my mind. Like I’m going to waste my weed on a pussy that won’t appreciate it!
But it crossed the mind of this piece of trash right here and he acted on it. 20-year-old Acea Schomaker of Omaha, Nebraska was arrested for misdemeanor animal cruelty after he shoved his kitty in a homemade box bong and then blew weed smoke in there to “calm her down.”
The cops showed up to Acea’s house, which he shares with his pepaw, after responding to a domestic disturbance call. The cops cleared that shit up, but returned after finding out there was an arrest warrant out on Acea for possession of drug paraphernalia. When they strolled back into the house, they found him hot boxing his kitty. Acea said that Shadow, his 6-month old kitty, was hyper and needed to be calmed down.
You know who needed to be mellowed out? Acea! That dumb bitch should’ve shoved himself in that box. He’s the one who needs to smoke a few more bowls and chill the fuck out. This is not stoner-approved behavior. This ass-brained dick bag needs to get his weed privileges revoked.
Cops say Shadow was completely dazed and didn’t move at all when they drove her to the humane society. They said she was scared, but in good condition. Hopefully, they gave her some Taco Bell, put on some Velvet Underground and let her sleep that shit off.