Would You Hit It?

Did K-Fat eat the chirruns?! Every time I blink, the bitch added more chunk. Soon, a bitch is going to have to roll him around Violet Beauregard-style.

Getting sexy with KFed could be hazardous to your health. He would need to hit that shit on stilts, because if he laid right on you, your ribs would crush down into dust. If he hit it from the back, he’d have to lay his gut on your back and that could crush your poor tailbone.

On the positive side, if you motorboated his big ass moobs, you might find a McDonald’s french fry in there. And I bet he eats out like a damn dyke on speed. Just pour some hot sauce and gravy over your private area and let him chomp away. He might accidentally suck out one of your vital organs, but that’s a chance you’ll have to take.

That being said, I’d hit it at a Hometown Buffet sundae bar.