I’m in L.A. now, so just give me the signal and I’ll run through Warner Bros. studio screaming like a mad bitch asking them to stop the fucking madness! Stop it before more people’s childhood memories are destroyed!!!! They are planning to remake the fucking NeverEnding Story! Does Falkor have a face that looks like it wants to be remade. It is perfect in every way already.
My 5-year-old self wants to come back and slap a whore or fifty. This has fucking ruined my day.
So, yeah, The Hollywood Reporter (via Coming Soon) says WB is in early stages to remake the 1980s classic that changed lives! Okay, it felt like that back then. WB plans to give it a modern twist. Let’s all call up Warner Bros. and ask them how it feels to kill something beautiful. Because that’s what they are doing! This is shit. You know they are going to get the Trannycat Dolls to cover the theme song. Lucifer, no. I just gave them an idea. WHY?! That is seriously one of my favorite songs of all-time and forever. If you ever need to feel gay, play that shit.
On a positive note, Kim from The Really Broke Housewives of Atlanta will be able to pay her website bill soon. Her broke down dog wig is a LOCK for the role of Falkor.
Please watch this clip below of Kids Inc. singing one of the greatest songs of all time. I’m looking to Martika for answers as to why this is happening. Give me answers, Martika!