If you ever find yourself about to have a Natty Ice party in Johnnie Ed Roberts’s pick-up truck, make sure you bring a case of Pampers, a roll of Brawny, some baby wipes or at least a Go Girl with you. This bitch is a pisser in every single way.
50-year-old Johnnie Boy was driving down the street in Fort Pierce, FL with a can of the always elegant Natty Ice in his hand and another one on top of his truck when he was pulled over. The fun was killed by THE MAN!
The police were alerted by a 911 caller who witnessed Johnnie’s truck doing the mambo all over the road. When the officer strolled up to Johnnie’s window, he noticed there was a piss pool in ole’ boys’ lap. When the officer ordered Johnnie out of the truck, bitch was a stumbling ass drunk. When asked to perform several sobreity tests, Johnnie, responded, “You a motherfucker and ain’t all that.”
And that’s the code phrase for a luxurious night in the click! Johnnie was immediately arrested. On the car ride to the jail house, Johnnie got pissed again. Literally. Right there in the car. When they finally got to the station, guess what happened? Johnnie went pee times all over himself yet again. Homeboy is giving Fuggie Fug a run for her money in the Pissy Pants Olympics.
Johnnie was charged with DUI and for saying “fuck no” to a breath test. Because when officers asked him to take blow into a breathalyzer, he sucked instead. That right there, is how it’s done. You know, so many drunk whores have blown into that shit that I’m sure there’s some booze up in there. Johnnie was sucking it out. Natty Ice makes your brains smart.
Let this be a warning to all you whores who like to enjoy the sophistication of a Naughty Ice while on the run. Bring your Go Girl along, because the piss will be a flowin’. And as my friend Yasmine pointed out, a Go Girl can also double as a portable beer bong! Perfection!
Source: TCPalm (Thanks Nacha)