The Virgin Got Married!

February 24, 2009 / Posted by:

Victoria’s Secret model and the “world’s most voluptuous virgin” (by GQ), Adriana Lima, eloped with NBA player Marko Jaric on Valentine’s Day in Jackson Hole (heh), Wyoming. Adriana and Marko have NOT been sexing it up with each other since 2006.

Adriana claimed last year or so that she was still a virgin, but this chick dated Lenny Kravitz. Even if he didn’t stick it in, Lenny can melt cherries just by touch. So if she even hugged Lenny, the ho ain’t a virgin anymore. This is a scientific fact. There was a special on the Discovery Channel about it or something.

Adriana announced the news on her MySpace and also addressed the rumors that she might be knocked up:

By this point, some people know about my big news! Yes, I like to keep my life personal but I did become married on Valentine Day to the love of my life. I am SO happy inside and I want to spread my love!

The marriage was very small and not most friends and family could attend because it was a quick decision. Luckily, we will be having another wedding this summer that will be a bigger event!

We have not decided where it will be because my family is in Brasil and Marko is from Serbia. It will be great no matter where!

And finally, there are rumors of me pregnant. I just cannot say.. YET!

Happy on the inside and wants to spread her love? SLUT! Bitch is totally knocked up. I don’t blame her ass. Look at that hot piece. Yes, ole boy is a little crossy in the eyeball area, but he looks like he has prime long peen. That’s what my peendar says anyway. The only problem is that he probably has trouble finding the hole, because his wonk eyes keep directing him in different directions. One eye tells him to go east and the other tells him to go west. If Adriana stays on top that shit is probably good.

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