Now This Is A Fucking Acceptance Speech

February 22, 2009 / Posted by:

Mickey Rourke’s acceptance speech at yesterday’s Independent Spirit Awards was made of gold. The speech sparkled more than his silver bullet toof! This is exactly why he needs to win the Oscar tonight. If this is the kind of shit he delivered at the Spirit Awards, I can’t even imagine what fuck word covered gems will fall out of his mouth tonight.

Of course, Mickey dedicated the award to his beloved Loki who might not have been watching form heaven since I don’t know if they get IFC in heaven. Mickey also wore a little locket with Loki’s precious face on it. The Milo & Otis of our time: Mickey & Loki.

During the rest of his fuck bomb-filled speech, Mickey made a plea to Hollywood to give the amazing Eric Roberts a fucking job. Mickey also thanked the girl he calls “Gap Tooth” and said “Melissa-Marisa Tomei” can climb the pole and did it well. Seriously, this is how a bitch gives an acceptance speech. Every whore in Hollywood from here on out needs to watch this shit so they know how it’s done.

Why can’t Mickey accept every damn award at the Oscars tonight? Shit, he should host and present every award too. Just change it to The Mickey Rourke Show. I could probably even watch it sober! Okay, probably not. Mickey’s speech is below:

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