We All Lost The Bet

February 20, 2009 / Posted by:

Mimi and Nick Cannon’s marriage will turn 1-year-old on April 30th. This is 363 days longer than I thought it would last. I feel like I should lick the crotch of a Hello Kitty doll as punishment.

You know, even if Mimi wanted to get a divorce, she’d have to drag her mantoy’s ass with her to the lawyer’s office, because he can’t let go! The money is on his hands at all times! Gold diggers of the world, this is how it’s done.

Here’s Mimi and Nick leaving Mr. Chow last night in Beverly Hills. How many dudes does it take to get the unicornie rainbow butt plug princess into a car?! Is homegirl filled with hot air and in danger of floating away? Oh, wait.

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