Thanks For The Visual, Mickey

February 20, 2009 / Posted by:

Mickey Rourke’s face may look like a Michael Myers’ mask marinated in boric acid and then charbroiled over an open flame, but he’s the first one to admit that. Mickey said his face got all jacked up from boxing and the plastic surgeon he went to butchered it even more.

Mickey said, “Most of it was to mend the mess of my face because of the boxing, but I went to the wrong guy to put my face back together. I had my nose broken twice. I had five operations on my nose and one on a smashed cheekbone. I had to have cartilage taken from my ear to rebuild my nose and a couple of operations to scrape out the cartilage because the scar tissue wasn’t healing properly. That was one of the most painful operations, but the worst was hemorrhoids.”

I will never forgive Mickey for the last part of that last sentence. It’s bad enough that his face already looks like a puss-filled roid sprinkled with curry powder, but now I’m picturing what an actual Rourke roid looks like. That shit probably looks like an over-microwaved piece of gristle covered in La Victoria chunky hot sauce and garnished with pork rind bits. The devil made me do it. And then for some reason I imagine him sticking a roid needle in his actual roid….and then… I think I’m going to blackout.

While I go and find some smelling salts, look at these pictures of Mickey Rourke arriving at LAX yesterday. Rourke’s roid… Not today!

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