The Crackie Of Camden No More

February 19, 2009 / Posted by:

The drug dealers of Camden will all have to pack up their bad shit and take their act to the suburbs of to St. Lucia, because their main john is not coming back. That’s what The Sun says anyway.

According to sources, 25-year-old (that makes me choke every time) Wino will become the permanent crazy lady of St. Lucia, because she’s looking to buy a house there and make it her home. Daddy Wino has already bought her a house in the London suburb of Hadley Wood. Wino will spend half of her time terrorizing St. Lucia and the other half wreaking havoc on Hadley Wood. (off topic: Hadley Wood sounds like when my abuelita says Hollywood)

A source told The Sun, “She has been drinking and smoking cannabis but is still a million times better than she was in Camden. Her family think the best way to keep her out of trouble is to have a house in the suburbs and a place in the Caribbean where she can totally get away.”

Oh, Wino doesn’t find trouble, trouble finds her. You better believe that crack rocks will magically find a way to grow arms and legs so that they can swim across the ocean and land into Wino’s hands. But seriously, this is a good idea for Wino. Stay in the sun, make love to the bong and bathe those titties in the salty ocean. It’s the bed medicine for life.

Image: Splash

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