The Twilight Sequel Is Going To Flop

February 17, 2009 / Posted by:

That’s if this rumor from Ryan Gaycrest (via ONTD) is true. On E! news, Gaycrest says that Vadge’s business partner, Guy Oseary, is executive producing the Twilight sequel, New Moon, and wants to involve the gristle granny somehow. Gaycrest said it’s likely that she’ll take a role in the movie and also put together the soundtrack. Do you hear that? The unicorns from Robert Pattinson’s magical forest are bawling and stabbing each other in the eyes with their horns.

Do the bitches of New Moon want their shit to sweep the Razzies next year? Even Robert’s magical unicorn friends are no match for Vadge’s kiss of the death. If Vadge so much as winks at the script, the entire movie will end up on FAIL Blog.

Does the book even have a character that’s a roidy memaw creature who sucks on the blood of young boys with her toothy sascrotch? If so, then fair enough, because that’s the role Vadge was born to play. I mean, she’s already living it.

Or maybe she’s just going to play a corpse? She convincingly played one in The Next Best Thing, so she’s already proven that she’s the one for the job.

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