RuPaul’s Drag Race was an hour of magic last night. I mean, a queen asking Tori Spelling about her HIV? Another queen falling on her face on the runway? Amazing. The only way that could’ve been better is if Tori Spelling fell on her fugly mug while a bitch was asking her about her HIV.
In the clip above, the draggies competed in a challenge where they had to interview Tori and her creepy-faced husband. Akashia, the cunt of the group, didn’t even bother getting the hell up for Tori. That would’ve been me, but only because if I moved slightly while staring at Tori’s vom-inducing face in motion, it would turn into a puke party.
The crowning moment came when Nina Flowers asked Tori to talk about her HIV. I don’t know if Tori has HIV, but she definitely has F-U-G. Nina really meant to say “hit TV show” and Dean did kind of rolled with it to make a funny. It must happen often.
The clip below features the all-out frosty elimination fashion show. Seriously, the screen is so fucking frosty during that segment. It’s just missing some sprinkles and a fucking cone. It makes me feel like I’ve gotten lube in my eyes again.
When Bebe Zahara (not related to Brangie) came out, I nearly ran to my kitchen to throw all the meat away, because it looked like the bitch would sniff out blood and hunt it down! I’m scared of her. If Tina Turner’s wig and Wendy Williams had a broken condom baby, it would be Bebe in this outfit.
The moment my TV remote suffered through the most was when Akashia tried to be all sexy and slick, but ended up on her padded ass! Rewind. Rewind. Rewind. Bitch tried to play it off, but the damage was already done. Sad. When a drag queen falls, an angel LOSES its wings. And in the end, Akashia fell again. Fell right off that fucking show, because she was eliminated. But something tells me we’ll hear from Akashia again. There’s a little show called The Really Broke Housewives of Atlanta calling her name. Seriously, bitch looks like she walked right out of that show! She looks more like a real woman than most of those hos on that shit! There’s a tightrope….and Akashia needs to be on it.