It’s Not April First Yet

February 17, 2009 / Posted by:

And the headline of the morning is: “Michael Jackson’s brother plans slavery theme park.” Yup, let’s all shut down our systems, grab our good friend Jack Daniel’s and go back to fucking bed. Seriously, it feels like I’m still asleep and reading this shit in my nightmares. I’m waiting for a winged Spaghetti Cat to sweep in and take me away from this madness. Where art though, Spaghetti Cat?!

So, yeah, Marlon Jackson (yeah, he exists), is involved in a project to build The Badagry Historical Resort in Badagry, Nigeria which is a historical slave port. Marlon and investors will build a museum and memorial. Okay, I was on board with that until I read that they are also planning a slave history theme park, golf course, casino, Jackson museum, holograms of The Jackson 5 and a replica of a slave ship. The description went on to say, “Visitors will be able to explore the site of the former transatlantic slave trade, honor the hundreds of thousands who died in what were horrific human rights abuses, and then head off for a round of golf or a massage, before gawping at animatronic versions of the siblings who sang ABC and I Want You Back.

Naturally, some bitches are raising fits and kicking kittens over this. One Nigerian historian said, “It is not appropriate from a cultural or historical point of view.”

The developers say the slave park of laughs is being marketed to African-Americans who wish to trace back their roots.

Yeah, we all love rides and animatronic characters, but the Underground Runaway Railroad Ride and Uncle Tom’s Log Adventure is not my idea of a fun time.

I feel like a crazy e-mail from an exiled Nigerian politician who needs help claiming his inheritance is behind this fuckery. Marlon must have fell for it.


Our commenting rules are pretty simple: If you make any overly offensive comment (racist, bigoted, etc..) or go way off topic when not in an Open Post, your comments will be deleted and you will be banned. If you see an offensive or spammy comment you think should be deleted, flag it for the mods and they'll be forever grateful and give you their first born (although, you probably don't want that).

alt="drupal analytics" >