The Richest Chichis In The World!

Yeah, Francois-Henri Pinault is looking at us like “Those world-saving chichis are all mine!” And that’s because Francois married those tittays o’ plenty on Valentine’s Day in Paris! You know, he slipped up and said, “I Francois, take you beautiful chichis….” I mean, we all would.

Le Point (via People) says Francois and Salma Hayek became husband and chichis at the City Hall of the Sixth Arrondissement in Paris. The Mayor confirmed that shit.

Francois started titty fucking Salma back in 2007. They got engaged in March 2007, popped out their baby Valentina in September 2007 and then called off their engagement in July of 2008. They got back together this past September.

Francois uses Gucci bags to wipe his asshole, basically. He’s the CEO of PPR who owns Gucci and other luxury brands. Last year, Forbes estimated his worth at $16.9 billion. It’s good to know that Francois will have the money to replace his nose when it falls off from over-motorboating Salma’s magical titty balls.

I didn’t think it was possible for me to adore Salma Hayek anymore than I already do!! When she’s not busy saving the world with her wonder leche, she’s digging for gold! I doubt there’s a pre-nup involved. Francois asked her to sign one, but she jiggled her bitties a bit which hypnotized him to forget all about that stupid document! In a quick minute, Salma will have all the cash she needs to buy the Isle of Lesbos for Penny Cruz. They will rename it the Isle of Chichis, naturally. That’s my idea of heaven.