Cokey Baby Alert!

February 16, 2009 / Posted by:

Back in January, Kate Moss was photographed in Thailand looking like she was suffering from a little condition called knocked the fuck up. Some weren’t sure if this was the case, since bitch was sucking on fags and downing beer. But this is The Moss we’re talking about. Bitch can’t breathe in oxygen unless it’s laced with nicotine.

The other night, Kate left a restaurant in London, where I’m sure she enjoyed a plate of parsley, looking like she was definitely preggers. Yes, I used preggers to remind us all the grossness of that world. It sounds like something I spit up this morning.

The News of the World says Kate is indeed the Big P and is expecting her new baby’s arrival in August. Since she’s past 12-weeks, she’s telling more and more friends. A source said, “She’s vowing to be an even better mum this time.” This time? Oh, yeah. She has another one of those kid things. I always forget about that. Usually when I see Kate, she has a ciggie in her hand, not a baby friend.

The father this time around is Jamie Hince, her Count Von Count-looking boyfriend. Damn. That baby is going to come out looking like this.

There’s still a little piece of me that wishes maybe she’s pregnant with Dreamboat Doherty’s baby. It could happen. His spermies are just as wasted as him. They probably got distracted on the way to Kate’s eggs. They hit up a few bars, crashed at a few crackhouses and eventually snuggled into her eggs years later. If the baby comes out with a “Property of the DH” stamp on its ass, we’ll know Dreamy is the daddy!

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