Don’t Drag Jesus Into This!

February 15, 2009 / Posted by:

Christopher Maurice Brown has finally released some sort of statement of words a week after he allegedly delivered an epic beat down on Robyn Rihanna Fenty aka Princess RiRi of the Universe.

Okay, Chris Brown didn’t really put this shit together, his crisis team did. They probably brought out the book on bullshit PR statements, went to the chapter titled “When you beat a bitch down,” and chose the first statement that mentions Jesus. Because if you throw in Jesus’ name, then that must mean you’re really fucking sorry. Here’s Chris’ sowwy:

Words cannot begin to express how sorry and saddened I am over what transpired. I am seeking the counseling of my pastor, my mother and other loved ones and I am committed, with God’s help, to emerging a better person.

Much of what has been speculated or reported on blogs and/or reported in the media is wrong. While I would like to be able to talk about this more, until the legal issues are resolved, this is all I can say except that I have not written any messages or made any posts to Facebook, on blogs or any place else.

Those posts or writings under my name are frauds.

Jesus and God really need to file a joint lawsuit against bitches for dragging their good names into unadulterated fuckery! They are both crossing their arms and giving the side-eye to Chris.

This statement doesn’t really say shit. This looks exactly like the e-mail some trick sent me when he gave me crabs. Just switch out “blogs and media” with “bathroom walls and message boards” and it’s the same fucking statement

Chris dalso oesn’t give RiRi’s name and uses a word like “transpired” instead of “beating the caca out of a chick.” Apologizing: Chris Brown is doing it wrong.

Even the puppy in that picture is not amuse. Puppy is thinking, “Motherfucker, please.”

VIA People

Our commenting rules are pretty simple: If you make any overly offensive comment (racist, bigoted, etc..) or go way off topic when not in an Open Post, your comments will be deleted and you will be banned. If you see an offensive or spammy comment you think should be deleted, flag it for the mods and they'll be forever grateful and give you their first born (although, you probably don't want that).

src="https://c.statcounter.com/922697/0/f674ac4a/1/"
alt="drupal analytics" >