Tragedy: Lee Redmond’s Nails Broken In Car Crash!

February 13, 2009 / Posted by:

Lee Redmond, the bitch who can scratch your asshole from across the room, has lost her record-breaking nails in a car crash on Tuesday in Salt Lake City, Utah. No, Lee was not driving. Bitch can’t even wipe her own pussy, let alone operate a steering wheel!

Lee was thrown from the passenger seat and taken to the hospital where she was treated for serious injuries. Lee lived, but her nails did not.

According to Guinness Book of World Records, Lee hasn’t cut those things since 1979. In 2008, her nails measured a total of 28 feet long. Her longest nail, on her thumb, measured 2 feet, 11 inches.

You know this bitch was screaming for her nails after the crush. She wasn’t even thinking about her internal organs. This shit gives me the sads, for real. And just like that, Freddy Krueger lost his favorite jack-off material.

Seriously, your lifelong work gone like that! But at least bitch can finger bang herself now without worrying about puncturing a lung or some shit.

Maybe she can get back into Guinness by challenging Vivica A. Fox to a “hairline-off.” Unless Lee’s hairline jumped back into place during the car crash. That would be sad upon sad.

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