Paging Maury!

This kind of shit was bound to happen on one of those Vh1 hooker shows. Ray-J has the honor of being the first bitch to possibly have knocked up one of the sluts of his reality show. And of course, it has to be the bitch with the tiger tattoo on her face. Does she realize that when she’s 50 that tiger is going to look like a mangy alley cat? Her face to fuck up, I guess.

22-year-old Monica Leon, who goes by the name Danger on For the Love of Ray-J, has ran off and told the National Enquirer that she’s 3-months pregnant with Ray-J’s baby. What’s even more special is that Monica claims they made a baby on the set of that tramp show. What a beautiful thing. The baby already has to deal with the shame of having a mommy with a permanent pussy on her face, but now it’s going to grow up to find out it was conceived on rented sheets on a rented bed in a rented whore house. For the Love of Jay is the trashiest home movie ever.

Monica told the Enquirer, “There is no way the baby can be anyone’s but Ray J’s. I was locked in a mansion with him and 13 girls from October until the end of December. Toward the end of the first week of filming, we made love for the first time – and we slept together every night after that! I didn’t want to fall for Ray J, but he was so charming it became impossible not to. I was in love with him, and as strange as it might sound, I think he loved me.”

Made love?! That tiger on her face just gave her the side-eye. When a dude you’ve known for a week sticks his sideway peen in your puss without a rubber on and busts a load, that’s not love, that’s fucking grade A stupidity! If she didn’t catch a baby, she would’ve caught the coochie cough!

And can someone get a camera crew to Whitney Houston’s crack den when she finds out. That wig is going to hit the ceiling and every doodle bubble in her ass is going to burst.

But seriously, Vh1 could find a way to turn this into a show. For the Sake of a Child Support Check! Maury Povich would host, obviously.

This shit also doesn’t mean it’s Ray-J’s kid. I mean, if Monica fucked him without a condom, she probably sat on a toilet seat without spraying it down with some Hazmat-approved spray cleaner. That means one of the other tricks in the house could’ve dropped a rogue jizz ball from her snatch onto the toilet seat and Monica’s vag picked it up. HEY! I watch Forensic Files. Anything is possible.