True Glamour: Phyllis J. McGuire

Please take a moment to be embraced by the elegant beauty of Phyllis J McGuire. Take it all in. Breathe in the scent of Jean Nate, Fanci-Full Rinse and Mary Kay lipstick.

If I was eve crazy enough (shutit) to take out a full page ad in The Hollywood Reporter wishing myself a happy birthday, I want it to look just like Phyllis’. From her flammable hair to her sweater made from the Easter Bunny’s ass hair, it’s perfection. And if only Vaseline could stick to my eyeballs, so everything in my world could look as frosty as this.

Seth at Defamer nailed it when he said she looks like “the human equivalent of an Easter Peep.” I co-sign that and I pray to the giant pink Aquanet can in the sky that Phyllis is in my Easter basket this year.

It’s no surprise that Phyllis, who is one of The McGuire Sisters and used to bang Sam Giancana back in the day, has made history as the recipent of the largest flower delivery. Bitch got like 12,000 roses.

And you also should really go to her website. Experience it……

P.S. – Do you think Phyllis has copyrighted “The Woman, The Myth, The Legend,” because I really want that on my tombstone.