A Back Alley Plastic Surgeon’s Dream Couple

February 11, 2009 / Posted by:

A couple that butchers their face together, stays together. That’s always been my motto and that’s why I think Mickey Rourke and Courtney Love make sense as a couple.

The Daily Mirror says that Loki’s daddy and crazy’s favorite customer have been licking on each other’s surgery scars for the past three weeks. A source said, “Mickey texted Courtney totally out of the blue, around the time of the Golden Globes, asking to take her out for the night. They met up in secret and had an awesome evening. Let’s just say they didn’t stop at holding hands and a chaste peck on the cheek.

I bet watching them fuck is like watching a hot dog slowly explode in the microwave.

But I’m sure they understand each other like no on else can. When his face spontaneously falls off the bone, Courtney will know exactly how to put it back on. When Mickey’s asshole dries up and dies when Courtney is tossing his salad, they will just laugh it off together. When Mickey’s jizz load refuses to come out because it’s scared of the fugness, Courtney will understand. All these things have happened to them before, so they already know each other. That’s true love.

Just as long as they don’t spawn. Don’t fucking spawn. If Eric Stolz in Mask still gives you night terrors, then pray to the Baby Jesus for strength, because a Courkey baby will make your stomach jump out of your body, run to the kitchen, grab a knife and poke your eyes out to stop the pain.

Here’s Loki’s new stepmommy, the Queen of Disaster, trolling around in London lst night.

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