Not The Tenhead!

February 10, 2009 / Posted by:

I might have to go watch the trampoline foxes a million more times after hitting “publish” on this post, because this shit is making my forehead weep. A source who saw the photos of Alien Princess RiRi after she got a midnight beatdown from Chris Brown (allegedly) says her injuries are “horrific.” The source told TMZ that she has two huge and swelled up “contusions” on both sides of her forehead. RiRi’s lip is split, her nose is all sorts of bloody and she has bites marks on her fingers and on one arm. And Chris has got some fucking teefs on him! The dumb cunt could bite through a lead pipe covered in Kryptonite.

This is far from a “smack bitch once to shut them up” incident. This sounds like Chris got the evil spirit of Ike Turner in him and went to beat down town.

RiRi wasn’t the one who called the police. A person who heard her screaming is the one who dialed 911. When the police arrived, Chris had already abandoned RiRi and the car by running off, but he took the keys with him. RiRi told the police Chris used his fists and there was no other kind of weapon involved. She refused treatment at the scene.

E! reports that RiRi is working with the fuzz, but isn’t really telling them what caused Chris to get all Mike Tyson on her.

RiRi was supposed to perform in Malaysia this weekend, but of course, she has put that shit on hold and will reschedule at a later date. Chris Brown also canceled some shit he was supposed to do this weekend. Instead, he will spend his days enjoying his ride on the “You Fucked Yourself” express. Go on and take a bow, Chris. It’s over now.

And seriously, out of all the things he beat down on, he had to go for her glorious tenhead! That’s the portal to her home planet! SOS! That has to add another few decades to his sentence if found guilty. That is beyond illegal.

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