Chris Brown Doesn’t Have Milk Anymore

February 10, 2009 / Posted by:

Speaking of bus rides to oblivion (see HAGel below), Chris Brown’s own ride to irrelevancy is moving along at warp speed. His milk moustache is no longer needed. The bitches at “Got Milk” will not renew his campaign when it ends this week. They followed Doublemint in staying the fuck away from Chris. They issued this statement:

“The Milk Mustache campaign is taking the allegations against Chris Brown very seriously. We are very proud and protective of the image of the Milk Mustache campaign and the responsible message it sends to teens. Mr. Brown’s ad was launched last fall and is scheduled to end this week.”

Chris shouldn’t worry. I’m sure he’ll get a jizz moustache or twenty in the big house. And I’m sure some of those dudes lay it down extra chunky, so Chris better work on his gag reflex.

And since we’re already on the subject, let’s just go over all the stories coming out about this fucked up mess. Seriously, my inbox is getting popped left and right like it’s in a fight with Chris Brown.

Story #1Kanye West speaks! Unfortunately, he just called into Ryan Gaycrest’s show on KIIS-FM, so there were no CAPS, exclamation points or BENJAMIN BUTTON’S involved! It doesn’t feel the same, but here’s some of what he said: “I don’t want to speak too much on it, but I was completely devastated by the concept of what I heard. Rihanna has the potential to be, you know, the greatest artist of all time and, in that sense, I feel like she is my baby sis. I would do any and everything to help her in any situation.” (People)

Story #2 – RiRi’s abuelita told the Nation News in Barbados that her granddaughter’s nose is not broken and that she’s “doing okay.” She went on to say, “I don’t want people to worry. Rihanna is fine and she is doing well.” Do you ever wonder if your family members were being bothered by the press, what they would say? My abuelita probably would have told them to fuck off and then chased them out of the yard with a branch she just ripped off of a tree. Or she’d turn the hose on them.

Image VIA Flickr

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