M.I.A. Makes Me Nervous

M.I.A. doing the “contractions bounce” while performing at the Grammys last night almost made me go into fucking labor for her. I wanted to jump through the screen with a mini-mattress and follow her around just in case the baby dropped out of her pussy from all that bouncing around. The baby was probably all dizzy and shit.

At one point, I think I saw the baby’s head sneak out, but it could’ve been the 4th glass of ghetto wine cooler (Chateau Diane & Mott’s apple juice) talking. Even if the baby did slide out of her coochie, she probably would’ve grabbed the umbilical cord, twirled that shit like a lasso above her head and kept on going. Bitch is no joke. I mean, there very well could have been baby water all over the stage, because homegirl was due yesterday.

If you missed that shit, click here to see it. M.I.A.’s performance kind of reminds me of my cousin trying to “drop it like it’s hot” during her wedding reception when she was 7-months pregnant. Seeing her hike up her wedding dress and shake that ass made me so proud.

Here’s also a few pictures of M.I.A.’s acid trip maternity wear last night. I’m pretty sure she bought her outfits in the placemat and shower curtain aisles at Big Lots.