True Love Always Dies

February 7, 2009 / Posted by:

Okay, who guessed that Peaches Geldof’s marriage would only last a long six months? I was out of the divorce pool after their 1-day anniversary. I figured it would be one of those 24-hour bugs. Well, if you guessed six months, then reward yourself by getting obliterated and marrying a stranger! Don’t worry, you can divorce them in the morning. Getting hitched and then getting divorced a quick minute later is fun! It’s the world’s pastime.

So, yeah, 19-year-old Rotten Peaches and 24-year-old Max Drummey announced their marriage is done DONE done after only six months. The hipster twats with faces like popped pimples married last August in Las Vegas after only knowing each other a month.

They issued this ridiculous statement to the BBC. Actually, just roll your eyes a hundred times and pretend you read it. Okay, here it is anyway: “After much soul-searching we have made the mutual decision to end our marriage and have agreed to go our separate ways. Our parting is amicable and both of us still respect and care about each other immensely. There were no other people involved in this decision and we both look forward to a future as good friends.

Damn, their “soul searching” expedition probably lasted a hot second. They both realized they don’t have any souls to search. I shouldn’t say that. I’m sure they tried they hardest to make it work. He wrote her a touching ballad about how much he loved her gold American Apparel leggings or something like that. It still wasn’t enough.

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