Tony The Tiger Hates Stoners

February 6, 2009 / Posted by:

File this under: this shit makes me want to wake ‘n bake! That’s the truth. So, Kellogg has quit Michael Phelps over that measly picture of him taking a bong hit. I hope the evil slut who sold that picture never enjoys a ride on the green cloud the same way again.

AND USA Swimming also got in on the Stoner Phelps H8ING action yesterday by suspending him for 3 months without pay. Don’t worry. He’ll be able to support his herbal goodness since I’m sure she has a kazillion dollars in his checking account already.

The USA Swimming issued this stupid statement: “This is not a situation where any anti-doping rule was violated, but we decided to send a strong message to Michael because he disappointed so many people, particularly the hundreds of thousands of USA Swimming member kids who look up to him as a role model and a hero. Michael has voluntarily accepted this reprimand and has committed to earn back our trust.”

Michael won’t really miss any swim time fun. His suspension will end right before the World Swimming Championships in Rome, so dolphin boy will be able to compete in that shit.

Now back to Kellogg. Tony the Tiger is DEAD to me. That bitch has the audacity to pull that shit! I’m sure pictures of him freebasing with Thai tranny hookers are floating around and I must find that shit, so he knows what it feels like. And Tony is a total damn pothead. A self-hating one! We all know it. Only stoners say shit like “grrrreeeeat!” Fuck that stupid ass tiger! Bitch needs to take off that gay ass scarf and smoke on that! Dumb pussy.

Furthermore, I will not be using Kellogg products to satisfy my high munchies any fucking more. I will be using some generic brand of corn flakes to make another version of the delicious white trash nachos (microwaved corn flakes and cheddar cheese). Those motherfuckers are stupid. Their demographic is probably children and stoners! Phelps needs to swim on over to the Frito-Lay company. They would pay him in green leaves, because they know what’s up.

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