This Bitch Is Asking For It

February 6, 2009 / Posted by:

Jennifer Aniston will star in a movie called The Baster. As in, turkey. As in, Aniston just hand delivered a pile of jokes to every fucking comic in the world. Variety (via Coming Soon) says that Michael Bluth aka Jason Bateman will co-star in the comedy about baby making. I bet Aniston thinks it’s going to be a documentary. That’s how they got her ass. Bitch is going to be fucking disappointed when she only gets a certified “FLOP” stamp when the movie opens instead of the turkey baster baby of her dreams.

The Baster is about “a neurotic and insecure man (Michael Bluth) who finds out his best friend (Maddox’s arch rival) wants to have a child through artificial insemination. He surreptitiously replaces her donor’s semen with his own and is then forced to live with the secret that he is the child’s real father.”

Sperm shenanigans! Who the hell is managing Aniston’s career? Maddox must be behind this shit. The next time she meets with her manager “Larry Craft,” she should open up his suit jacket! I’m sure she’ll find Maddox sitting on Pax’s shoulders. FOILED! Who else would advise her to do movies that do nothing to help her “I have nightly play weddings with my cats” image.

Jenny needs to stop with these stupid ass comedies. We need more of The Good Girl shit from her. Honestly, that movie wasn’t bad. Besides, she could do ten million comedies and they would never live up to the genius that is Picture Perfect.

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