Subway Sucks

February 6, 2009 / Posted by:

(Internal monologue: Resist obvious dick joke… Resist obvious dick joke… Resist obvious dick joke)

Foot-Long Phelps has already lost his big Kellogg deal because he sucked on a bong and now Subway may be next pimp to quit that whore. BuzzNews (via Gawker) says they are hearing rumors that Subway is about to leave the station without Phelspie on their fucking train. Subway has already erased any signs of Neptune’s son from their website. Subway’s other celebrity whores are still on the website, but Phelps’ name has suddenly disappeared.

A source said that legal team is trying to figure out how to get out of the deal and get their endorsement cash back. Phelps and Subway’s marriage contract expires in 2012.

Endorsement money back? Please. Phelpsie probably smoked that up a while ago.

I’m not surprised Subway is pulling this shit. They are a bunch of shady bitches. I stopped going to Subway when the dumb bitch making my sandwich gave me the side-eye when I told her to warm that shit up a bit in the microwave. I took my sandwich money to Quiznos and that’s who should call up Phelps! It’s a perfect match. I can already see the slogan:

“Michael Phelps is always baked, just like our sandwiches!

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