It’s “Punch Your Monitor” Time!

February 5, 2009 / Posted by: Michael K

Not even Cornify-ing Hasselcrack can make her sunnier and prettier. I fucking tried.

You know, it’s been a while since I’ve posted a classic Hasselcrack moment, but she gave us one The View this morning. The topic was Ashley Judd’s PSA where she bitch slaps Sarah Palin for killing woofies from the sky. Hasselcrack, defender of all things Palin, asked if Ashley also defends the hundreds of thousands of babies killed in abortions each year. When Joy Behar verbally punched her in the teeth by telling her to stay on topic, Hasselcrack asked if she was at the Socialist table? And just when I was about to scream “Ladies and whores, we’ve got a catfight!“, Whoopi went to commercial. Whoopi always has to leave me with blue balls!

I don’t even know why I watch The View anymore. Soon, I’m not going to have any teeth left, because I’m constantly grinding that shit when I listen to Hasslecrack’s yappy ass voice. I just want to take that bedskirt she was wearing, wrap it around her mouth, throw her in a Bed Bath & Beyond discount bin and pray that someone buys her ass to stick under their mattress forever.

Hmmm…but then who would feed me my morning dose of rage?!

Tags: Elisabeth Hasselcrack, Shut Your Hole, The View

Our commenting rules: Don't be racist or bigoted, or post comments like "Who cares?", or have multiple accounts, or repost a comment that was deleted by a mod, or post NSFW pics/videos/GIFs, or go off topic when not in an Open Post, or post paparazzi/event/red carpet pics from photo agencies due to copyright infringement issues. Also, promoting adblockers, your website, or your forum is not allowed. Breaking a rule may result in your Disqus account getting permanently or temporarily banned. New commenters must go through a period of pre-moderation. And some posts may be pre-moderated so it could take a minute for your comment to appear if it's approved. If you have a question or an issue with comments, email: michaelk@dlisted.com