It’s Just A Little Pot!

Michael Phelps really just needs to take another hit and stop talking about this BONGGATE ’09 crapola (<--- shout to Top Chef’s Carla). Flipper’s long-lost cousin gave an interview to The Baltimore Sun (via USA Today) where he said he is considering not competing in the 2012 Olympics because of this stupid scandal.

Michael said, “This is a decision of mine that I’m not going to make today and I’m not going to make tomorrow. It’s going to require a lot of time and energy and a lot of thinking for myself – but also talking to Bob and talking to my family and just deciding what I want to do. If I decide to walk away, I’ll decide to walk away on my own terms. If it’s now, if it’s four years, who knows. But it is something I need to think about and decide what I want to do.”

Doesn’t he mean swim away really fast? You know, he should just give it all up and quit. Fuck that shit. Fuck that Olympic shit. Fuck that splashing around in the pool shit. Fuck gold medals. FUCKIT. Michael needs to hit Taco Bell, order everything on the menu and then bring his bong over here. We’ll spend every day toking and nacho-ing (made up word of the day!). Dolphin bitch should also bring over those 14 gold medals. Come hell or high bongwater, we’ll find a way to smoke those things up.

Here’s Phelpsi already sporting a little stoner ‘do while leaving practice in Baltimore.