It’s A Small MiserAlba After All!

February 4, 2009 / Posted by:

MiserAlba is in all of us! Her beauty transcends all cultures! That’s what that bitch claims anyway. In the new issue of Elle, MiserAlba talked about her exotic looks: “There aren’t many other stars, besides Halle Berry and Jennifer Lopez, who most people in the world can related to. We look like people of the world – I can kind of mix in with girls in Asia, South America, Europe.”

Bitch is like the Small World ride at Disneyland, but except for smiley happy dancey children, you get a frowner who will cut you with her death eyes. And my second cousin Lupe is going to be fucking thrilled to know she’s an international hybrid beauty who can pass as a Swedish chick, because ho looks just like MiserAlba.

MiserAlba also talked about how she cried tears out of her eyes when she had to work out to lose the baby weight, “The workouts were horrible. I cried. And I haven’t worked out since.” And she went on to say that contractions are cake and ice cream! “Contractions aren’t that bad. If you’ve ever had bad cramps? That’s what they’re like.”

Contractions were nothing to MiserAlba, because she took the pain she was feeling out on Cash Warren’s balls. She slowly popped them one by one. Cash has a no-nut area now, but that doesn’t matter, because MiserAlba had an easy child birth!

And she only cried during her workouts, because her trainer played her movies during their sessions. Her acting skills makes everyone cry.

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