Let’s start with a quote: “I’m afraid of water. Um. Maybe I shouldn’t get a houseboat then.”
That was just one of the many beautiful gems that came out of Tamara’s echo chamber head during last night’s I Love Money 2. This is the kind of dumb bitch we could all use as a friend. She will make anyone feel like the president of Mensa! And she would be so much fun at parties! I bet if you tied a sock around her waist, she’d fall over! If you put a piece of scotch tape on her nose, she’d spend hours trying to get it off. If you asked her what the capital of Los Angeles was, smoke would start to float out of her ears. I love her!
Tamara’s genius started when she said that if she won the money, she’d buy a houseboat and park it in the ocean. But then she suddenly realized that she was afraid of water, so maybe living on a houseboat wasn’t such a good thing. This is what freebasing freon does to a bitch! No, I take that back. Stupidity like this is a God-given gift!
Tamara’s greatest moment came when she (SPOILER ALERT) lost an arm-wrestling match and had to leave the show. In Tamara’s defense, there was no way she going to win that match when she’s on a permanent 15-second delay. After she lost, Tamara’s balloon head almost fucking popped. The bitch flipped out and yelled at the crew, “You have no hearts and no souls! You should be ashamed of yourselves for exploiting these stupid idiots!” The crew totally shrugged and mumbled, “Yeah, so? When do we eat?!”
And she also screamed that she’s a winner who has been on 50 magazine covers! Um. Tamara. You know that those “magazine covers” you shot at a Six Flags photo booth aren’t real?! Yeah, we shouldn’t burst her bubble head.
Tamara’s meltdown actually surprised me. I’m impressed that she knows that many words. I figured she was operating on a 12-word vocabulary.
After she got tired from overusing her one brain cell, Tamara stormed out……the wrong door. HA! If Chrissy Snow was a Midwestern lot lizard who was addicted to Purple Drank, her name would be Tamara. Seriously, get this bitch her own show called Are You Smarter Than Tamara?! Everyone is a winner! Even inanimate objects!
Put on your dumb-reflector cap and watch the clip below: